DEAR ABBY: I am a 22-year-old college senior. My live-in fiance, "Ray," is 31 and divorced. We have an infant son together. His three children, all under 12, are with us every other weekend.
When I entered this relationship, I had no concept of the tremendous responsibilities I would be taking on. Besides a full-time class schedule, I take care of our baby, cook every meal and clean the house. I also look after Ray's kids when they're here.
Because of our age difference, I sometimes feel that my values and goals conflict with Ray's. I want to focus on my career, but Ray feels my household duties should come first. I do not want to be the only one shouldering the burden. I want to have a professional life after I graduate. Ray does not make me feel appreciated, and I need advice about what to do about it. -- OVERLOADED AND UNDERVALUED IN PITTSBURGH
DEAR OVER/UNDER: You and Ray appear to have different priorities. You want a career; he wants a housekeeper and baby sitter for his children. Ideally, your fiance should be helping you to achieve your goals. If you cannot fully express your feelings to him and arrive at a compromise, it may be time to re-evaluate your feelings about this entire relationship before it goes any further.