DEAR ABBY: I am miserable. I am married and the mother of two children. I don't know how to get out of my marriage. My husband is so volatile he hollers, throws things, and is loud and verbally abusive to me. He also acts this way with the children.
I do not love him. I married too young and for all the wrong reasons. When we argue, he goes running to my family and tells them a sob story, and they blame me. When I try to talk to them, they refuse to listen and push me to stay with him.
I don't want to have to walk out on all of my possessions, but I will if I have to. I am willing to do almost anything to get out of this marriage.
The last time we went through this, he wouldn't leave. Now he is saying he will and promises he will not contact my family. However, I'm afraid to trust. Please help me. -- CONFUSED AND UNSURE IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR CONFUSED: Since you have already decided that the marriage was a mistake and not worth trying to save, consult a lawyer who specializes in family law. He or she will counsel you about what each of you is entitled to and how to ensure that your husband leaves.
Establish how you will support yourself and the children when the time comes. Do not depend upon your family for emotional support and you will not be disappointed. It is said that "breaking up is hard to do," but your lawyer can help you through the process. No one comes through a divorce entirely unscathed -- but it's better than remaining in a loveless marriage with a volatile, verbally abusive spouse.