DEAR ABBY: I need to know if I'm being unreasonable. A few nights ago -- around 3 or 4 in the morning -- my husband got into bed and woke me to have sex. I had only been asleep for a few hours. He knows I have to get up for work by 7 a.m. It's not the first time this has happened. When I tell him I need my sleep, he gets mad and says I'm rejecting him. Then he gives me the silent treatment.
Abby, I have never been a morning person and have always needed my sleep. This is a recurring problem that affects other parts of our relationship. My husband and I have been married 15 years and have quarreled continuously over his "nocturnal needs." I should add that he is unemployed and can sleep any time he wants.
How do you suggest I get my hubby to be more considerate without hurting his feelings? -- SLEEP-DEPRIVED IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR SLEEP-DEPRIVED: You and your husband should hash this out in the cold light of day, preferably with a marriage counselor. Intimacy is an important part of marriage, but it has to be mutual to be enjoyable.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a college student attending school across the country from my family and friends. My parents were in Europe for Christmas this year, so my Aunt Louise invited me to spend the holidays with her and Uncle Harry.
Aunt Louise lived far from us when I was growing up, so I didn't get to see her often and I welcomed the chance to get to know them better. Aunt Louise operates a bed and breakfast, and knows just what touches in the room make her guests feel at home. Abby, on my nightstand was a delightful little booklet of yours -- "Keepers." I read a piece or two from it each night before I turned out the lights.
I would like a copy of your booklet for myself -- and also one for each of my sisters who live out West. How can I get them?
Thank you in advance for the information, and happy new year. -- AMANDA IN BUFFALO, N.Y.
DEAR AMANDA: I'm delighted you enjoyed the "Keepers" booklet. It contains some of my favorite inspirational and humorous pieces. To order the booklets, send a self-addressed envelope, plus a check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) for each copy, to: Dear Abby -- Keepers, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I invited another couple, whom we had not previously entertained, to our home for dinner. When my wife told me what she planned to serve, I told her she would do well to ask our guests if they liked that particular "exotic" dish, or if they had any dietary or religious restrictions or dislikes.
My wife insists that to do so would be impolite and unnecessary. Now there's a quarrel brewing over this. Who's right? -- IRON STOMACH SPOUSE, SUN CITY, CALIF.
DEAR SPOUSE: You are. A thoughtful hostess lets guests know what she's planning to serve in case they have food allergies or medical conditions. Not only is it thoughtful, it's good insurance.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
4520 Main St., Kansas City, MO 64111; (816) 932-6600