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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman Misses Girlfriends in New Life With Husband

DEAR ABBY: How does one make friends after college? This may seem like a dumb question, but I'm having a hard time.

Right after I graduated, I married a wonderful man and moved halfway across the country, leaving all my close friends behind. Having been raised an Army brat, I never had trouble adjusting to new situations until now.

My husband is my best friend and a great companion, but I miss having girlfriends in my life -– to cry over silly movies with, and go shopping, and share "girl talk."

I am working two jobs, so time is scarce, and I don't have the money to join a gym so I can meet people. My day job provides limited contact with the public, and at both jobs my co-workers are decades older than me.

So far, the only people I've met my own age are all single, and they like to party and do singles things. I'm happy with my guy, so of course I'm not into that.

Ideally, I'd like to meet other couples so I can make some female friends, and we can send "the boys" out to do macho things. I'm hoping you can help me, Abby. -- FRIENDLESS IN THE TEXAS PANHANDLE

DEAR FRIENDLESS: Please don't write off the possibility of forming friendships with older people. They can be great mentors and can also have children or extended family who are your age.

Since your time for socializing is limited, consider exploring relationships at your place of worship or among your husband's co-workers.

DEAR ABBY: My children are grown. They moved out a few years ago, but now they're back. They do not want to take care of themselves, and do nothing physically or financially to keep the house in order.

I would like to sell my home and work overseas for one year in my profession. If I don't do it now, I never will.

Please tell me how to get these overgrown "children" out of my house and off my back. They have their own money and they have friends. I don't know how to handle this. I'll take your advice. (I have for years.) -- USED MOM IN MINNESOTA

DEAR USED MOM: Be firm. Give your adult offspring a deadline to be out. Then put your house up for sale and take the job overseas. Please don't feel guilty for doing so. You have earned the right to experience your dream. Your children are adults now. It's time they learned to survive on their own. It's an important part of growing up.

DEAR ABBY: I was dating someone special for six months. I'll call her Meg. I fell deeply in love with her and thought we had a future. Meg said she loved me, too.

A few weeks ago, she got upset with me and said I wasn't smart enough or intuitive enough to know she needed $3,000 to buy a car. Meg said if I really loved her, I would have picked up on her "hints" and given her the money without hesitation. The truth is, I probably would have, but I'm not a mind reader. Now she's done a complete 180 on me and hung me out to dry.

Abby, Meg never calls me "honey" or "sweetheart" anymore, and never seems to have more than a moment to spend with me. I love her, but don't know what to do. I don't know how much more rejection I can take. What do you make of her behavior? -- BLINDSIDED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR BLINDSIDED: Count yourself lucky. You are finally seeing the real person beneath the loving facade. Bluntly put, your lady friend is a gold digger. Ease your broken heart with the thought that you're $3,000 ahead of the game. This "romance" was not meant to be.

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