DEAR ABBY: I am married to a wonderful man who has a well-mannered 8-year-old son, "Derek." We also have two young children of our own. My husband is supposed to see Derek every other weekend. The problem is, Derek visits our home every weekend because his mother is off "doing her own thing."
I don't mind having Derek around, but it makes me angry that his mother is using us as free baby sitters. If we refuse, she sends Derek to one of her low-life relatives. She even drops him off at our house when he has a temperature and is contagious.
My husband says he would rather have Derek with us than with her family, but I am growing resentful because I work and have my own children to care for. What do you think? -- FEELING USED IN CLEVELAND
DEAR FEELING USED: Derek is your husband's child, and the only stabilizing influences in his life are his father and you. None of this is his fault. You are in a position to make a huge difference in his life -- and he will love you for it. Please try harder not to resent him.