DEAR ABBY: I grew up in a home where my father beat my mother and sexually abused me. I am married now and the mother of two beautiful daughters. After my father died three years ago, I learned that my mother had known what he was doing to me and did nothing to protect me.
My husband's family says I should forgive and forget and let my children enjoy their grandmother. I told my kids what she had "allowed," and they now want nothing to do with her. I think a mother should protect her children at all costs. Am I wrong? Don't I have a right to be angry at her? -- OUTRAGED IN OMAHA
DEAR OUTRAGED: Unless your mother expresses deep regret for failing to protect you, I see no reason to encourage a relationship with someone who ignored the physical and emotional abuse of her child.
Since you and your mother were abused, I urge you and her to seek separate and possibly joint counseling. In that supportive environment, you will find an opportunity to express the trauma you both felt living and growing up in your father's house.