To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
WORLD WAR II DESERT BATTALION RISES AGAIN AFTER MAN'S PLEA
DEAR ABBY: You have some amazing readers! When I wrote about my mother's adventures in the Desert Battalion during World War II, I had no idea there would be such a response.
Within 12 hours after my letter appeared in your column on May 30, I received a dozen phone calls and numerous e-mail messages. Two days later, letters started arriving.
With only my name and hometown, your readers tracked me down to tell me they had located copies of "The Desert Battalion" on various book-search sites.
One man had a copy he was kind enough to send to me; another had one because he was a personal friend of Mrs. Edward G. Robinson's and had actually accompanied the battalion on several trips to visit the troops in 1943-44; and a lady from San Diego named Betty called to say she had been one of the original battalion!
Amazingly, Mrs. Robinson's granddaughter also called. We talked for an hour about her grandmother's reminiscences of the battalion. We plan to correspond further.
I was able to order a copy of the book, which I have given to Mom; received another as a gift; and learned much about Gen. Patton's secret "Camp X" near Palm Desert, Calif. The Desert Battalion was the only civilian group to go there or know about it.
It's been an amazing experience, thanks to you, your readers, and the U.S. Postal Service, which delivered many letters to me addressed only with my name, city and state! -- DAVE KOHL, WEST LINN, ORE.
DEAR DAVE: My readers are the most caring and generous people in the world. I'm not surprised that they were galvanized to action after reading your letter. Thank you for sharing your happiness. (I'll have more on this subject tomorrow.)
DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, my mother told me my father had cheated on her. They are now divorced. I decided then that my father would not walk down the aisle when I got married -- nor would he and his new wife ever be invited to my wedding.
Even though that day is a long way off (I am 12), I was wondering if you agree with my decision. -- MAD AT DAD IN VIRGINIA
DEAR MAD AT DAD: I understand your anger at your father, and your protectiveness toward your mother. The best advice I can offer is not to make any hard-and-fast decisions at this time.
When you are older, and actually planning your wedding, you will better understand the reasons why your parents' marriage failed, and then you can make a mature decision that you will not later regret.
DEAR ABBY: I am 76. My husband is 79. Until recently, our sex life was nonexistent. Somehow he got his hands on a sample of Viagra and now he is, as they say, "hot to trot."
The trouble is, he has serious heart problems and gets so flushed and out of breath when we have sex that it scares me. I don't think he should be taking the pills.
I know you have medical experts you could ask for advice. I'm sure he hasn't told his cardiologist he's taking Viagra. Help! -- WORRIED IN COLORADO
DEAR WORRIED: If your husband won't tell his cardiologist he's taking Viagra, you should -- and do it today. From what I have read, in most cases, sex won't kill a man with a heart condition, but the combination of Viagra with the wrong medication could. Your husband might prefer to go out with a "bang" -- but before he takes the risk, you both should be fully informed.
CLASSES HELP SENIORS KEEP THEIR DRIVING SKILLS SHARP
DEAR ABBY: "Protective New Dad," who is reluctant to allow his grandmother to drive his baby around town, should ask Grandma to enroll in the special AARP Driver Safety Course designed especially for senior citizens.
Drivers learn defensive-driving techniques and find out how to adjust their driving to compensate for normal age-related changes in vision, hearing and reaction time.
In California, drivers older than 55 who complete the course get a certificate issued by the Department of Motor Vehicles. It makes them eligible for a reduction in their auto insurance rates. (In other states with similar laws, the age varies.)
To learn more about the course, including when and where classes will be held in any area, your readers can visit AARP's Web site at www.AARP.org/drive or call the toll-free number: 1-888-227-7669 (1-888-AARP-NOW). -- DOROTHY SEDLEY, AARP VOLUNTEER INSTRUCTOR
DEAR DOROTHY: As our population ages, a course such as the one offered by AARP becomes an important safety measure for the road. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: If "Protective New Dad" has any doubts about his grandmother's driving skills, I urge him to stand firm and not allow his daughter in her great-grandmother's car no matter what.
When I was a young teen, my mother -- tired of being a "taxi service" -- hired a neighborhood girl, "Maggie," to drive me to band practice. Mother knew Maggie had already totaled two cars, but didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her she wasn't a good driver. Mother ignored my protests and so off I went -- scared to death.
Instead of driving me straight to band practice, Maggie drove all over town, picking up her friends and leering at boys. We had countless near-misses. By the time I returned home, I was shaking like a leaf and had wet my pants in sheer terror. I quit the band the next day.
Abby, that was 25 years ago. I never got over the fact that my mother chose the feelings of another girl over the safety of her own daughter. Maggie went on to crack up another car, seriously injuring her passenger -- who could have been me!
I urge all parents to choose carefully who drives their child. If someone's feelings get hurt -- tough! He or she will get over it, but the loss of a child is irreversible. You better believe my own daughter's safety comes first. -- SAVED MYSELF IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR SAVED MYSELF: And so it should. Your mother's judgment left much to be desired. Today it would be called child endangerment. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Protective New Dad" should have been more strongly worded. If he's uncomfortable about Grandma's driving, it's not just his own child he should worry about -- it's everyone else's, too. That's the approach I took with both my mother and grandmother when it became obvious their reflexes weren't what they once were.
First, I persuaded them to admit they were "a bit slower." Then I said: "You love children, and there are lots of them in this neighborhood. Could you ever forgive yourself if a child darted into the street, and there was a tragedy because you couldn't slam on the brakes fast enough?"
They each handed over their car keys. It wasn't fun for any of us, but it may have saved lives. -- I GOT THE KEYS IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR I GOT THE KEYS: That's strong medicine, and I commend you for taking the initiative to ensure the safety of others.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
DAUGHTER RESPONDS DEFIANTLY TO HER PARENTS' TOUGH LOVE
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are near retirement age. We have a daughter, "Annette," who has five children by four different men. Annette has always managed to dump the father after each child was born. She was married to the last one, but after he caught her cheating, he asked for a divorce.
When each relationship ended, Annette would come home to live with us. We felt it was our obligation to help until she got back on her feet. However, she continued to reproduce haphazardly.
We love our grandchildren, Abby, but the last time Annette told us she was coming back, we told her this time she was on her own. We have six other children who occasionally have problems. We didn't think it was fair to devote all of our attention to Annette when her problems are self-inflicted.
Two years ago, Annette disowned us. We're at an impasse and miss our grandchildren terribly. Do you think we did the right thing? What should we do now? -- TWO GRANDPARENTS IN TWIN FALLS
DEAR GRANDPARENTS: Stick to your guns. You gave your daughter a dose of reality -- because the truth is, you won't always be there to rescue her. Being told to stand on one's own two feet is never pleasant, but she shouldn't have retaliated in the way she did. Wait it out and pray she grows up before her children do.
DEAR ABBY: A longtime family friend's son is being married at the end of the month. Our families were extremely close and the boys have been best friends for years. I say "were" close because about six years ago, I was terribly despondent and attempted suicide. After that, these close family friends would have nothing to do with me. We had gone everywhere together and they were my son's godparents.
I can't begin to tell you how traumatic the loss of this friendship has been. We run into each other occasionally, and she is always friendly toward me, but that is where it ends. Her son still stops by to see me and we get along well.
Today my son received an invitation to the wedding addressed only to him. He is 25 years old and has his own apartment. He called to tell me the date and told me to mark it on my calendar. I said, "I'll check my invitation when it arrives." He replied, "You won't be getting one."
Abby, am I supposed to be his guest? I don't know how to take this. I feel very hurt and slighted that I wasn't sent my own invitation. This is causing problems between my son and me. Could you please help? -- SAD IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR SAD: Since you did not receive a wedding invitation, it's safe to assume your presence is not welcome. I agree that you should not attend.
Your "longtime friend" might be a member of a religion that considers suicide an unpardonable sin, or she may have felt incapable of dealing with your emotional problems and therefore chose to distance herself from you. Whatever her reason, it's clear she doesn't understand that what caused your suicide attempt was depression, not a flaw in your character.
Instead of attending the wedding as your son's "guest," send the happy couple a lovely congratulatory card with a personal note. Your thoughtfulness will send a strong message that you are the same kind, loving person you always were.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)