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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am a middle-aged female office worker who has a big problem with one of my two bosses, "Mr. X." I have no respect for him. He frequently views pornography on my computer and isn't very adept at covering his tracks. Sometimes I suspect he actually WANTS me to know what he's up to.

Twice this man has left disks behind containing X-rated material, and I've seen vast numbers of X-rated Web site titles that he apparently visits almost daily -- either before I arrive or after I leave the office.

Upon returning to my cubicle after lunch last week, I actually caught Mr. X viewing porn at my desk. In his haste to get rid of it, he accidentally minimized the photo he'd been viewing, rather than closing it out -- which left me stuck with having to delete it. (I have always deleted these items when I discovered them.)

I think Mr. X's behavior is extremely creepy. I almost feel like I'm being sexually harassed. What should I do, Abby? Should I confront him, talk to my other boss (who is clueless to the problem), consult an attorney or continue keeping my head in the sand? I'd look for another position, but with the exception of the porn problem, I love my job and don't want to lose it. Sign me ... SADDENED BY SLEAZE

DEAR SADDENED: It's time to draw the line and protect yourself. Start by telling the other boss what is going on. Make it clear that you are not the person visiting those sites, and that finding evidence that they are being viewed on your computer makes you uncomfortable. That may put an end to the problem. If it doesn't, document each incident in writing and log off the computer when you are not at your desk. If the problem persists, that may be the time to consult an attorney and look for another job.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Nick," has been acting strange. I think he may be having an affair.

Until recently, he showed little interest in our family dog, "Trixie." However, lately he has offered to walk Trixie every night. Some nights they are gone for two hours.

Last night, when I went outside to put something in the mailbox, I found Trixie tied to a tree across the street. Nick was nowhere in sight.

What do you think I should do? -- WORRIED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR WORRIED: Untie Trixie and let her lead you to your wandering spouse. I suspect that when you find out what he's been up to, the one in the doghouse will be Nick.

DEAR ABBY: Is there such a thing as "real love"? You know, the kind where you never feel complete unless your partner is there? I read books about this kind of love. I see movies about it and hear songs, but I have never experienced it.

I am not a teen-ager, Abby. I am 47 years old and wonder if I have missed out. -- WONDERING IN IOWA

DEAR WONDERING: You haven't missed out. What you have described sounds more like co-dependence than "real love."

Kahil Gibran said it best in his book, "The Prophet": "... stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600