DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from "Judy in Tucson," regarding control freaks who insist their weddings be picture-perfect, I have to tell you what happened to me when I was 18.
My best friend, "Carrie," was being married and asked me to be her maid of honor. However, she told me I was too fat and I would have to lose weight before the wedding because she didn't want me to ruin her wedding pictures. I went on a strict diet and lost weight, but that was not enough for Carrie. She replaced me with a thinner girl, but told me I was welcome to attend the ceremony. I was very hurt.
My parents loved Carrie and told me I was being overly sensitive. They were unable to attend her wedding, but gave me a card with cash to give to the bride and groom. My boyfriend thought the way I had been treated was terrible and suggested we ditch the wedding -- and we did. We took Mom's gift and had a wonderful evening out on the town.
My mother still mentions the fact she never received a thank-you note from Carrie. Maybe someday I will tell her the truth -- but I'm still not sorry for what we did. -- TELLING THE TRUTH IN DULUTH
P.S. I recently ran into Carrie at the mall. Poor thing, she's put on quite a few pounds. (I have lost 100 pounds -- and look great!)
DEAR TELLING THE TRUTH: I don't condone what you did, but your motive was understandable. Carrie's priorities were misplaced, but it's wrong for you to continue to allow your mother to think your former friend failed to acknowledge her generous gift.
You're older and wiser now -- not to mention thinner -- so 'fess up and face the music.