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by Abigail Van Buren

Husband Resents Wife's Desire for a Little Time on Her Own

DEAR ABBY: I love reading your column -- every day I learn something.

A longtime girlfriend invited me to visit her in California for a four-day weekend this fall. I am married with two children, ages 5 and 9. I'm also a working mom who sacrifices a great deal for my husband and kids.

My husband is refusing to let me visit my friend, because it means he would have to get the kids off to school two days in a row -- and he'd have them for the entire weekend.

I don't get time to myself very often, so I think he's being unreasonable. Whenever I tell him I want to do something with a friend, he'll say, "When do I get to do something fun?" I always tell him, "Go! Have some fun -- I'm not stopping you."

What do you think about this? Am I being unfair? -- HELD-DOWN WIFE IN SUGAR LAND, TEXAS

DEAR HELD-DOWN WIFE: No, you are not being unfair. Your husband appears to be a man with no friends, no outside interests and no relationship with his children.

It's too bad he doesn't view your trip as an opportunity for special "dad time" with his kids. It could be a wonderful memory and bonding experience for all of them.