DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Elaine," whom I've known since we were 12. Over the years, we've stayed close and now enjoy successful lives with busy careers and marriages.
My problem: Elaine doesn't like to shop. Whenever she has a business or pleasure trip on the horizon -- or special occasion to attend (a wedding, party, business meeting) -- she comes over and picks out clothes, shoes, jewelry and luggage from MY closet.
When we were in our 20s and single, I didn't mind. Now, however, we're in our mid-50s, and Elaine's routine closet raids have become a huge annoyance.
I have told Elaine that some of the things she wants to borrow are gifts or to be worn only on special occasions. I don't want to risk losing or having them damaged. For her birthday, I've given her items similar to what she's borrowed from me -- but there's no stopping her.
I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. Abby, how do I put an end to her annoying habit without ruining an otherwise wonderful friendship? -- RELUCTANT LENDER, AUSTIN, TEXAS
DEAR RELUCTANT: It's not surprising you feel used, because you have been for the last 40 years. It's hard to assert yourself after having been passive for so long. However, until you summon the courage to tell your friend the truth, you might just as well hang a Macy's sign over your closet door. Have a truth session with Elaine before the week's out.