DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from "Concerned Grandfather in Seattle," and I have to warn him that if he chooses to lie to his grandson by telling him that his father is dead, he will only make things worse.
Whether shame or self-involvement was the cause, my family kept the truth from me for 25 years, and it was purely by accident that I finally found out who my real father is. Had I not, I'm sure my family would still be lying to me.
The trust that had been built over my entire lifetime was shattered in an instant. I no longer knew who I was or where I was going.
Eventually I found a degree of freedom in knowing the truth, but it took a long time and many dark days to get to that point.
The feelings of betrayal by my own family still linger eight years later. -- PORTLAND, ORE., SON
DEAR SON: I believe it. And that's why I say that honesty is the best policy, even if it means opening a can of worms that's difficult or painful to discuss.