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by Abigail Van Buren

Sister Cannot Remain Silent About Brother's Cheatin' Heart

DEAR ABBY: For the past two years, my 21-year-old brother, "Bill," has been dating a wonderful young lady I'll call Katie. Bill has been living with Katie and her family for the past year, until she finishes high school. She's only 18, but very mature for her age.

Katie is now pregnant. She claims it was an accident -- but those of us close to her know it wasn't. Bill has proposed and is planning to marry her next month. After that, he has to travel out of the country for eight months because he's in the military reserves.

My best friend, "Tammy," works with Bill. She recently confided to me that after Bill found out about Katie's pregnancy, he told three of his female co-workers -- including Tammy -- that he wasn't sure if he was making the right decision by marrying Katie. He told all of these gals that he needed to "be with other women" before he gets married.

To my astonishment, each of them ended up performing sexual favors for Bill, and he has made it clear to all of them that he wants to do it again. I am torn. I love my brother, but I'm upset that he cheated on Katie. I'm also sick about the fact that my best friend took part in this.

I don't want to create a family feud, but I can't keep silent about this mess. Should I talk to my brother about it? Should I tell Katie about Bill's unfaithfulness? Or should I keep my mouth shut and let the wedding go on as planned? -- TORN IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TORN: This does not sound to me like a couple who are ready for marriage. Talk to your father or an older male family member whom Bill respects about what you have discovered, and then tell Katie. Katie must disclose to her obstetrician the fact that she needs to be tested for STDs, because if she has one, it could affect the health of her and her baby.

Bill is overdue for a "father/son talk" about the facts of life. These include the dangers of unprotected sex and the responsibilities of a family man. As it stands, your brother understands neither.