DEAR ABBY: I am a freshman at a college located two hours away from home. My brother, "Jeff," who is three years younger, still lives at home. I miss him until he comes to visit -- then it's a different story.
Jeff shows no respect for me, my lifestyle or my dorm room. He demands that I entertain him -- even though my schedule is filled to the max with classes and work. He makes a mess of my room (like spilling soda and not cleaning it up) and makes rude comments about my boyfriend behind his back. My brother has gone so far as to make some outrageous statements like, "Anyone who is not Christian is going to hell!" (My boyfriend is Jewish.)
How am I supposed to continue having Jeff visit if he causes nothing but stress and embarrassment and leaves my room trashed? My parents don't see any problem and think I'm blowing this out of proportion. Any suggestions, Abby? -- FED UP IN NEW YORK STATE
DEAR SIS: There may be only three years' difference in your ages, but emotionally your brother is a rebellious, self-centered adolescent.
If I were you, I would limit Jeff's visits until he's older, wiser, and willing to show more respect and tolerance for you and your friends.