DEAR ABBY: Ten weeks before my wedding -- right after our wedding and bridal shower invitations were sent out -- my future father-in-law telephoned my fiance to tell him that his sister, "Courtney," no longer wanted to be in the wedding.
When I called Courtney to ask why she had changed her mind, she told me she doesn't care to ever have a relationship with me, that she doesn't want to be reminded that I'll be part of her family for the rest of her life, that she's wanted to slap me across the face quite a few times in the past five years, and that she thinks her brother could "do a lot better" than me.
My fiance told his family that Courtney would not be welcome at our wedding until she apologizes to me for the hateful things she said. His parents say that Courtney's pride is in the way, and it's not in her nature to apologize. They also informed my fiance they won't attend our wedding if Courtney isn't welcome.
Any advice? -- DISSED IN DELAWARE
DEAR DISSED: Only this: In light of her animosity toward you, Courtney does not belong at the wedding -- if only because her presence could be disruptive.
As for your fiance's parents, should they choose to skip their son's wedding in an attempt to blackmail you into having her there, it's their decision, and they'll have to live with it. This is only a sample of the way you'll be manipulated in the future if you cave in to their demand. You have my sympathy.
DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Jack," and I (both 55) retired two years ago from the military. We bought a nice home in Las Vegas with a small pool and hot tub in the back yard. Since we have 9-foot privacy walls surrounding the yard, we enjoy using our spa every night in the buff.
One evening three weeks ago, Jack caught a glimpse of our next-door neighbor, "Maria," peeking over the privacy wall. She is a 49-year-old widow and must have been standing on a stepladder to get a good look. We tried not to let her know we saw her, but several nights thereafter, she did it again.
Maria is a good friend, and each Saturday morning she and I have coffee at a little coffee shop nearby. Last Saturday, Maria made a comment about how well-endowed Jack is, so I asked her how she knew. She replied, "Oh, I can just tell." Then I said, "I'll bet you've been peeking at us in the spa." Maria became enraged and stormed out of the coffee shop.
Abby, she hasn't spoken to me since. I told Jack what she said, and ever since he's been preening like a peacock. He thinks the whole thing is hilarious, but I miss her friendship. She will not answer my calls or come to the door. What can I do to regain her friendship? -- VEXED IN VEGAS
DEAR VEXED: I'm sure it won't be difficult. Send Jack over with a peace offering and a short note that begins, "To someone who has seen it all ... I miss you."
DEAR ABBY: I am deeply in love with a woman who tells me she loves me only as a friend. The problem is, we have a successful business relationship and see each other several times a week. It's painful, Abby, and I don't think the situation will ever change.
Do I give up the friendship? -- RIPPED UP IN ORANGE COUNTY, CALIF.
DEAR RIPPED UP: It's a shame to end a successful business relationship. However, when the pain is more than the pleasure, it's time to move on. Love is at its best when it's mutual. When it's not, it's masochism.
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