DEAR ABBY: I am a single mom with a daughter who is a sophomore in high school. She has a male friend she likes "more than just a friend." However, he has a girlfriend and talks to my daughter only when his girlfriend isn't around. Also, he's a freshman in college.
I do not like this guy at all and have been so concerned about my daughter that I did some snooping in her room. What I found has me very upset! He wrote her a letter that sounds like it came straight out of an X-rated movie! I cannot begin to tell you how sick it made me.
I cannot confront my daughter unless I confess that I violated her privacy and read something I shouldn't have.
The only alternative is to say nothing and hope my daughter will see this person for who he really is. Please help because the situation is driving me crazy. -- WORRIED SICK ABOUT MY DAUGHTER
DEAR WORRIED SICK: Motherhood isn't a popularity contest. You and your daughter are overdue for a serious mother/daughter chat. Tell her that out of concern, you did some snooping and found the letter. Then be quiet and listen.
Your daughter needs to know that young men who respect girls do not send them X-rated letters. Since this fellow is officially going with someone else, for him to encourage your daughter under the circumstances shows a lack of character. Then inform your daughter that you want communication stopped with this male "friend." That's what mothers are for.