DEAR ABBY: You printed a letter from "Tired and Worried in the Midwest," a 21-year-old mother of a 19-month-old child. She was separated from an abusive husband and said she did not know how to handle her daughter's constant crying. You suggested she see a pediatrician for a referral to a child psychiatrist.
As a licensed marriage and family therapist, here's what I think: "Tired and Worried" appears to be a young, inexperienced mom who has lost control of her own life. Her 19-month-old may not need to see a child psychiatrist nearly as much as this young mother needs a parenting skills class. They are offered at local adult education programs or community colleges, as well as the YMCA and many churches.
"Tired and Worried" could also use some personal therapy to help untangle herself from her controlling family, as well as develop assertion skills that may prevent her from getting into another abusive relationship. She can find referrals for low-fee counseling in the phone book or from her local community mental health agencies.
When this young woman wrote, "I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown," it was a cry for help that's needed before she -- or her baby -- are injured. -- JAELLINE JAFFE, PH.D.
DEAR DR. JAFFE: Your solution may be better than the one I offered. However, before finding a therapist listed in the phone book, it's preferable to get a referral from a physician. They usually refer to someone they know whose expertise they trust.