DEAR ABBY: This is in response to the letters you have printed about the "drunken geese." I may not know about drunken geese, but I know about drunken fish.
My Uncle John was a cook on a Mississippi River towboat, and one day he had planned to serve fried fish for lunch.
As the barges headed upstream on the Illinois River toward Peoria, the Hiram Walker distillery caught fire, and a great deal of whiskey suddenly flowed into the water around the boat.
Drunken fish flopped up onto the deck of the boat. The crew became so amused by their antics that when lunch rolled around, they refused to eat the fish that Uncle John had prepared! -- STONE SOBER
DEAR STONE SOBER: I can understand why. There's something redundant about frying fish that are already fried to the gills. Thanks for the fish story.