DEAR ABBY: I am in my early 30s, and this summer I'm to be married for the first time. My parents have been divorced for many years and are splitting the cost of the wedding. My father has contributed $10,000. The cost is expected to be higher. My mother remarried 15 years ago, and she and my stepfather can afford to pay the balance.
The problem is I intensely dislike my father's girlfriend, "Tess." They have been together 10 years. I have done everything I can think of to get him to leave her.
Tess attends all the family holiday parties. I won't go if I know she will be there -- therefore, MY holidays are ruined! I did succeed once in getting her "uninvited," but since then nobody will listen to me. Tess will have nothing to do with me now. In fact, she looks right through me as though I am invisible.
Abby, I do not want Tess to attend my wedding and ruin my big day. I have demanded that my father not bring her, but he will not hear of it. He says since he is paying $10,000, he will invite whomever he wants. What can I do? How can I make this woman stay away? -- SUMMER BRIDE ON A BUMMER
DEAR SUMMER BRIDE: You can't. Unless you welcome her warmly, you may experience a $10,000 shortfall. So sweeten up, grow up and accept reality. Your wedding can be the beginning of many new relationships.