To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
'Here Comes the Bride' Is Old Refrain for Groom's Sister
DEAR ABBY: During the past 50 years, my handsome and loving 83-year-old brother has been married and divorced eight times -- maybe more. Between marriages he has lived with a number of women off and on.
Now he has made yet another conquest. After knowing a woman in her 70s for only three weeks, they tied the knot. I don't know how it's possible to fall in love that fast; I guess some people do. However, now my brother wants me to meet his "bride" and prepare a fancy dinner in their honor.
I have flatly refused. I have no desire to meet another of his brides and make a big to-do about it. What do you think, Abby? Am I wrong? I am 84 and can't take any more of this nonsense. -- HAD ENOUGH IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HAD ENOUGH: You're not wrong. I don't know how many of these wedding celebrations you have hosted for your brother, but at this point I think you should be a guest at THEIR wedding banquet. And tell your brother I said so.
DEAR ABBY: I am a new father to my precious 13-month-old baby girl.
My 76-year-old grandma (my daughter's great-grandmother) helps us frequently by baby sitting, but doesn't like being stuck indoors for hours at a time. My mother just told me that Grandma is buying an infant car seat so that she can drive the baby around town.
Abby, the thought of my grandma behind the wheel makes me uncomfortable. I know I must say something, but she is one headstrong lady and won't like what she's hearing.
The bond between my daughter and her great-grandma is wonderful, so another sitter is out of the question. What is the best approach to all of this, Abby? Please respond quickly. -- PROTECTIVE NEW DAD, SOMEWHERE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR NEW DAD: Seventy-six isn't necessarily over the hill. However, if you have any doubts about your grandmother's ability to drive safely with your child in the car, you MUST assert your parental responsibility and protect your child. There is no way to sugar-coat it.
DEAR ABBY: Please inform your readers that the American Association of Poison Control Centers has recently launched a new national toll-free telephone hotline for poison emergencies 24 hours a day, seven days a week -- 1-800-222-1222.
The poison center can answer questions about household products, chemicals at work or in the environment, drugs (prescriptions, over-the-counter, herbal, illegal or animal medicines), snake bites, spider bites, plants and mushrooms.
More than 70 percent of poisonings are preventable. Readers can also call the hotline for poison prevention information and for stickers to post the new hotline number in their homes. Having the poison emergency number handy can save a life. -- LINDA B. KALIN, AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF POISON CONTROL CENTERS
DEAR LINDA: Thank you for sharing this important information. Your letter is a "keeper."
Readers, no matter what your location is, this one number will connect you to lifesaving advice and helpful information from your nearest poison center. All services are free, confidential and available for the hearing-impaired and for those who do not speak English as a first language.
Star Shines on Silver Screen and in Old Soldier's Memory
DEAR ABBY: I have enjoyed reading about all the random acts of kindness in your column. I recall one from many years ago.
I was a teen-aged recruit in the U.S. Army, stationed on a large rural sheep ranch near Pomona, Calif., prior to being sent overseas during World War II. We men slept in tents, ate from field kitchens, and washed, shaved and bathed out of our Army helmets.
I read in the local newspaper that the Hollywood Canteen was throwing a big party and dance for the servicemen. Since I had that weekend off, I dressed in full uniform, jumped into an Army supply truck and headed for Pomona. From there, I hitchhiked to Los Angeles and the Hollywood Canteen.
The party was a huge success. However, finding shelter for the evening was next to impossible at any price during the war years. After the gala event was over, I was dozing on a chair when I was awakened by a petite elderly lady who said she was the mother of the actor Cesar Romero, and if I hurried she would get me a place to sleep that night. An auto awaited, and with two other servicemen I was driven to Beverly Hills. A secretary greeted us at the residence and directed us up the huge spiral staircase and into one of the five bedrooms available.
Abby, we were in the home of the movie actor and art collector Edward G. Robinson! He had turned over his home to the USO while he was in New York.
I retired to a huge bed and had a good night's sleep. In the morning, a knock on my door informed me that breakfast was ready -- and what a breakfast it was!
I left a thank-you note in Mr. Robinson's study and soon was on my way back to camp.
Through the years I have watched Edward G. Robinson's classic films on television, and I will never forget the generosity of that great film star. -- REMINISCING IN RENO
DEAR REMINISCING: Old movie buffs will love your letter. To borrow a phrase from Bob Hope, another great star who did his share to entertain the servicemen during World War II and other wars and conflicts, "Thanks for the memories."
DEAR ABBY: I have been married four times. My second husband, "Mike," and I are close friends. I hurt him terribly when I left him for a younger man 16 years ago.
About a year after my fourth divorce, Mike contacted me and we met for lunch. We have been best friends ever since. He does not date -- and sometimes I think he is still in love with me. However, I cannot get past what happened between us even though it was all my fault.
Abby, do you think it is healthy to be so close to someone you were once married to? I don't see how we could ever reconcile, but I love spending time with Mike and would hate to lose our closeness. -- MARY IN ARIZONA
DEAR MARY: I see nothing wrong with having a friendship with a former spouse as long as no one is hurt in the process. As for a reconciliation -- never say "never." Stranger things have happened.
CONFIDENTIAL TO "BURNING DESIRE": "Six essential qualities that are the key to success: sincerity, personal integrity, humility, courtesy, wisdom, charity." (Dr. William Menninger)
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
Muslim Girl Fears That Boys Will Never See Past Her Scarf
DEAR ABBY: I am an 11-year-old Muslim girl who is a faithful reader of your column. It has helped me remember that I'm not the only one with problems. Here's mine:
It seems like no boy has ever liked me because I wear a scarf. The fact that no guy has ever liked me really hurts, even though it's against my religion to have boyfriends or go out on dates.
Guys never like me -- even as a friend. I know you're thinking that boys my age are sometimes afraid to approach girls, but it's not like that. This is bothering me something awful, Abby. Please help. -- SAD AND HURT IN FALL CHURCH, VA.
DEAR SAD AND HURT: Speak to your parents or your religious leader about your feelings. You're not the only girl who has ever felt this way. Sometimes it's hard to be different -- yet that's what makes all of us mature as individuals.
When the time comes, the right young man will be mature enough to see the person underneath the scarf. Trust me!
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Jenny," and I became engaged on New Year's Day. We've been together for four years, and both have children from previous marriages. Jenny has three daughters, and I have a son and a daughter. All five are grown and in college or settled down with careers and families of their own.
I immediately shared our engagement news with my side of the family. Everyone was excited and eager to know the wedding date. Trouble is, Jenny and I haven't yet picked a date, due to the fact that she hasn't told any of her family -- including her daughters.
Since they all live out of state, none of her family would have any idea about our engagement unless they're told. Jenny's reluctance to share our "happy news" makes me wonder what she has to hide. Your opinion would be appreciated, Abby. -- STILL SINGLE IN SEATTLE
DEAR SINGLE: She's hiding you, honey! If your fiancee hasn't notified her family by June, I urge you to rethink the engagement.
DEAR ABBY: One of my co-workers, "Doug," brought one of his active children into my office. One kid jumped on my chair and broke it. It doesn't belong to the company -- it's my personal chair. I have a disability and need something more comfortable than my office chair. Doug tried to glue it back together, but unfortunately, it didn't hold.
I have hinted that I am going to have to replace my chair. Doug has not offered to pay for it. Although I know it was an accident, I'm upset about it. The replacement cost of the chair is $100, but I bought it two years ago, and would be willing to take $50.
How should I handle this without damaging my friendship with Doug? -- CHAIRLESS IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR CHAIRLESS: Buy a new chair and ask your co-worker to pay half the bill. Then purchase a sturdy lock for your office door -- and use it.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)