DEAR ABBY: I recently married a wonderful woman with an adorable, energetic 3-year-old daughter.
My concern is my wife's mother, "Julia." She's a fine mother/mother-in-law, and the greatest grandmother in the world, but she harbors an intense dislike for my wife's ex-husband, "Trevor." Every time Trevor's name is mentioned, Julia says something negative about him. She refuses to talk to him or be in his presence. If she happens to be at our home when Trevor comes to pick up his daughter for visitation, she'll leave the room and go to a back bedroom.
Everyone in the family has discussed this with Julia, including my wife's grandmother. However, every time we raise the subject, she becomes angry at us.
While my wife and her ex were not good as a couple, this man has been nothing but a loving, patient and supportive father. He shows up on time, almost never cancels, pays his child support in full -- and my stepdaughter is always excited to see him.
My concern is that my mother-in-law's anger toward Trevor will eventually confuse my stepdaughter. Although she is young now, there will come a time when she'll be old enough to know something is wrong. What can be done, Abby? -- JEFF IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR JEFF: Lay down the law to Julia. Tell her she must keep her feelings about the child's father to herself. There is no reason the child should be subjected to this. If Julia cannot comply, she should plan ahead to be elsewhere when visitation is scheduled.