DEAR ABBY: My husband rejects my romantic overtures, my attempts at conversation or a social life with him, and any efforts to discuss our few disagreements. (We almost never argue because he often refuses to talk or even reply to my greetings.) He also refuses counseling of any kind and rejects literature on relationships or depression.
Abby, please tell your readers to run, don't walk, away from a man who's been divorced more than once. There's a reason why he's single. I trusted his version of how his past marriages fell apart. I trusted that his courting behavior was the real him. Wrong. It was just dating behavior. The happy part of our marriage lasted only a few months. His ex-wives must be laughing at me because I've discovered what they knew years ago. I am intelligent, capable and educated -- and still I made a profoundly stupid mistake when it came to love. -- DISILLUSIONED IN MILWAUKEE
DEAR DISILLUSIONED: Please don't be so hard on yourself. Intelligence, education and competence do not guarantee that a person of either sex will automatically choose the right spouse. And why do you think your husband's former wives are laughing at you? If anyone can empathize with your unhappiness, they can.
Since your husband refuses counseling and is unwilling to work on your marriage, go without him -- if only to understand why you have tolerated this hostile living arrangement for as long as you have. After that, you'll know what to do.