DEAR ABBY: I have a hint for your readers who have a loved one in a nursing home: Carry a notebook. If there's a problem, note the day, time, the person you talked with and the condition of your loved one. Describe any problems and when they were solved.
If your loved one can make notes, give him or her a notebook, and have the person make notes of what is happening.
I shared this idea with a friend. She said it worked for her and her dad. He is getting much better care now. -- CAREGIVER IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR CAREGIVER: Thanks for the suggestion. Jotting down the details of important conversations can be helpful for many reasons. Another good idea is to drop by unexpectedly and let the management know that you are paying attention to the care your loved one is receiving. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Our visits to friends in nursing homes and convalescent hospitals would be much more pleasant if the patient's family would pin up happy pictures or awards on the walls. Most rooms have a bulletin board.
We could talk about happy experiences and honors, rather than aches and pains. -- MARGARET MILLER, CINCINNATI
DEAR MARGARET: I have a better idea. Why don't all visitors take along photos or other mementos of happy events to liven up the conversation? Funny cartoons can also lighten the atmosphere. Smiles and laughter are good medicine for all concerned.