DEAR ABBY: I would like your opinion about a family situation: One of my sisters is marrying my other sister's ex-husband.
My younger sister, "Charlotte," and her husband, "Mel," were divorced because she was unfaithful. My other sister, "Kara," split from her husband because they cheated on each other. Charlotte has three boys and Kara has two girls.
Mel and Kara were both hurting, so they began to console each other. Well, one thing led to another. They have been living together for some time. This has devastated Charlotte. She and Kara used to be close. They no longer speak.
Kara has announced that she and Mel are being married in a formal wedding. Kara has asked our brother to walk her down the aisle, but he has reservations about the wisdom of her decision. He feels his sister has crossed the line.
The wedding is set for June. Charlotte refuses to allow her sons to take part in the ceremony. She plans to take them to Florida that week.
Abby, do you think it is wrong for Kara to marry Charlotte's ex-husband? -- BIG SISTER SUE
DEAR BIG SISTER SUE: What I think about the propriety of this forthcoming union is immaterial.
What I am having trouble understanding is why Mel, whose marriage to Charlotte ended because she cheated on him, would want to marry another woman who cheated on her husband.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 25-year-old woman who is dating a 47-year-old man I'll call Roy. My problem is I don't know how to break it to him that I am no longer interested. It seems to me our relationship is based solely on sex.
Roy tells me all the time how much he loves me, but I think it's the sex he loves. From my perspective, we really don't have anything in common.
He is currently separated from his wife and has a 16-year-old daughter who doesn't know about me. Roy lives in another state, but we see each other often.
Last week he told me that when his divorce is final, he wants to marry me. I was OK with it until I did some serious thinking. Roy asked me if I had a problem with his age, and I said no -- although the fact that he's old enough to be my father does bother me.
I don't know what to do, Abby. If I break it off with him, he's not going to take it well -- I just know it. But if I let our relationship continue, I'll feel like I'm leading him on. He's talking about relocating to be with me. How should I handle this mess? -- TRAPPED IN NEW ORLEANS
DEAR TRAPPED: Don't feel guilty -- just be honest. His age DOES matter to you. Level with him before he further disrupts his life to be with you. He may not take it well, but it's better than his giving up a job and relocating, only to be disappointed later.
DEAR ABBY: I finally figured out why women live an average seven years longer than men. They don't have wives. -- DIVORCED IN DENVER
DEAR DIVORCED: Not so fast! It could also be because they don't have husbands.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
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