DEAR ABBY: I have worn a hairpiece for about 15 years and have been at my present job for the past five. My toupee was expensive and it's not obvious. I have never told anyone at work that my full head of hair isn't natural.
Last weekend at a work-related social function, my wife astonished me by mentioning to a group of my co-workers over cocktails that I wear a hairpiece. After we left the party, I became angry with her for making this revelation, but she refused to accept why I was so upset.
Then my wife had the nerve to say, "Don't you think they already know you wear a toupee?" I told her I didn't think they had any idea, but that was beside the point. The important thing was that I felt she betrayed a confidence.
Now she wants to ask someone impartial whether or not she goofed -- so I'm asking you, Abby. Do you think she should have told my work associates about my toupee, and do you think I was wrong for getting upset with her? -- BLOWING MY TOP IN OHIO
DEAR BLOWING MY TOP: Your reaction was understandable. Some "secrets" are supposed to remain in the family. Your wife's indiscretion was cruel and uncalled for. It's as out of line as it would be for you to tell her friends she wears dentures and falsies -- she'd hit the roof.
DEAR ABBY: This is for "Lonesome Teen in Riverside, Mo." I, too, have a 12-year-old son and an 8-year-old daughter. Their father and I divorced, and he left owing thousands of dollars in child support. My children had not heard from him in more than a month. When he finally did call, I got on the phone and made my point clear: Money was not an issue. I did not care where he was, or what kind of life he was living. I told him he needed to call his children once a week and tell them he loved them. I even said he could call collect. I emphasized that if there was ever an emergency, we needed to know we could communicate.
He sends no presents for Christmas and misses their birthdays, but since our conversation, he calls our children once a week.
My point: Kids are not little forever. They do not care if their father (or mother) has money or a nice job. They just want to talk to them and hear them say, "I love you." -- BEEN THERE IN IOWA
DEAR BEEN THERE: That's true. You're a terrific mother for getting that message across to your former spouse. Other absent parents can learn from you.
DEAR ABBY: After reading your letters about sleeping in the nude, I thought you might enjoy my poem. (Abby, I love your letters!) -- JEAN WELLS ROGERS, COLUMBUS, N.M.
DEAR JEAN: And I loved your poem! Readers, here it is:
Here he comes, all ready for bed
Wearing nothing at all but a cap on his head.
Here am I -- my attire complete --
A smile on my face and sox on my feet.
We're old and we're wrinkled, but why should we mind?
We sleep like two trees -- our branches entwined.
Who needs pajamas and nighties so cute
When sleeping's the best in your birthday suit?
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
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