Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
DEAR READERS: Today's column will be different. I want to thank you for making OperationDearAbby.net a tremendous success. Because of your generosity, our troops have received more than 375,000 messages. That's the equivalent of more than five tons of letters. (Heaven only knows how many trees have been spared because they weren't needed for paper.) And the Department of Defense tells me that the number of "hits" -– that's visits to the site -– has topped 25 million!
I'll share a sample of the messages that were received from young readers (spelling and grammar preserved):
DEAR SOLDIER: I'm glad you are pertecting us. But I'm sorry your away from your family near Christmas. I hope you are o.k. and I hope you can see your family again. If you watch football, the Small Bears won the championship. The Raiders are in second place. It was a good game, it was 18 to 12. I hope you win the war. If you don't die can you please write me back? I'll write to you again.
P.S. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. We're thinking of you. -– MEMPHIS (3RD GRADE)
From a girl to her brother who's in the Army:
DEAR TIMMY: I want to fill you in on what has been going on. First of all, Mom and Dad have split up. Now Dad has someone else named Theresa. Her little girl is one of my friends. Me and Mom now live in an apartment. I am in forth grade now. I even have my own locker. I go to the same school, but now I'm getting into an after school program. Thank you for risking your life for us. Your sister –- ANDREA
DEAR SERVICEMAN: I'm 13. I'm a very nice girl. I like to sing, dance, play video games, talk on the phone and listen to my CD player. Thank you for protecting our country and my family. You left your home to fight for us. Thanks to you, a lot of people are still alive. You put your lives in danger and that is really brave. You should get a gold medal. I felt really sad when I heard terrorists bombed New York and the Pentagon and killed so many innocent people. I think whoever was in charge of the bombing should be killed. You are heroes and nobody will ever forget you. -– KYANA, CANOGA PARK, CALIF.
And these, from a Webelos Boy Scout Troop in Tennessee:
DEAR SOULDIER: Hope you make it back to your family. Have a happy new year. I know how it fells. My dad got killed in the war when I was four. I have a new dad now, and I'm sad about all those kids who lost their mom and dad. Hope it stops -– DYLAN
DEAR SODLER: I'm African Amircan. Please, please, please kick realy kick kick Afghanistan's B-U-T-T. And I'm not jokin'. -– MALCOLM. P.S. Please don't die. Come back to your family in once peace. Please!!!!!!!!!
And last, from a budding humanitarian:
DEAR AIRMAN: I am 12 years old and in 8th grade. I like to play football as a cornerback blocking the receiver. I also like videogames. Thank you for joining the U.S. Air Force. Also for risking your life at wars or in other dangerous situations. Thanks for being there when needed and for putting up shelter for hurt people and sending them food, clothing, water and other useful supplies. -– NEPHTALI IN CALIFORNIA
So, Dear Readers, I hope this sample was ample and you enjoyed them as much as I did.
Thanks to the Department of Defense, OperationDearAbby.net is now year-round. It serves all branches of our armed forces. All messages are relayed to our troops via a secure military site so they can be beamed to a ship in the middle of the ocean, a submarine under the sea, or downloaded to a cave in Afghanistan.
Valentine's Day is just around the corner. Please join me on OperationDearAbby.net in telling our troops how much they are loved and appreciated on Valentine's Day and every day.
DEAR ABBY: I am 11 years old. My family keeps telling me I am gaunt and too thin. I think I am fat -– way fat. From my point of view, I have an enormous stomach, big legs, and I weigh and eat too much. My parents' view is, "Where'd she go?"
Doctors tell me to eat more, but I won't eat junk food, and even "normal food" to me is fattening. People tell me I am underweight, but I know I'm gaining. I want to look like all my thin friends. People say I'm even thinner, but to me I am bulging out. I'm afraid boys won't like me. My father said I should tell you that I'm 4 feet 11 inches tall and I weigh 80 pounds. What's the truth? -– ROXIE IN BILOXI
DEAR ROXIE: At 4 feet 11 inches and 80 pounds you are NOT overweight. You have become so preoccupied with being thin that you no longer have a realistic view of yourself.
You say you want to be thin like your friends and are afraid boys won't like you if you're not. Well, I have news for you –- every man I have ever talked to about "beauty" has told me he doesn't like girls who are too thin. Quote: "I like a little 'meat' distributed over those bones." Get the message?
There is a difference between being fat and being fit. Fitness is healthy, glowing and attractive. Thinness is not fitness, nor is it necessarily healthy or attractive. If you diet to the point of being skinny, you can make yourself sick. There is a name for it: anorexia.
Your parents are looking out for your best interests, and so are your doctors. Please listen to them. If you don't, the results could be life-threatening. A person does not have to be "the thinnest" in order to be accepted or considered attractive. And THAT'S the truth.
DEAR ABBY: The letters about the doctors who had themselves paged repeatedly to advertise themselves reminded me of my student days when I worked part time in a health clinic. Every morning, I would hear a "Dr. Duncan" being asked to report to the lobby. I had never heard of a doctor by that name working there.
I finally found out that "Dr. Duncan" was clinic "code" to let everyone who had time to take a break know that the snack truck had arrived at the back entrance. That explained why coffee and doughnuts would suddenly appear all over the building after the message. Duncan ... doughnuts ... get it? –- A VERMONT M.D.
DEAR M.D.: Got it! That letter struck a chord with another healer. Read one:
DEAR ABBY: I am a retired physician from a town in northeastern Ohio. When I was a lad, I delivered groceries to an elderly physician's family. He lived and practiced until he was in advanced age, probably 80 or so. (But that's another story.)
Legend had it when he first came to town as a young man, to try to drum up business, he'd occasionally get his horse and buggy out of the barn and, after a hurried run through the main streets, return home. People thought that he was very busy for a young doctor, and it made a great impression. -– OHIO DOCTOR
DEAR OHIO DOCTOR: Whether or not it worked, it was certainly worth a shot. Through the years –- from using ponies to pagers -– doctors have found ways to make names for themselves.
CONFIDENTIAL TO MY ASIAN READERS: Tomorrow begins the year of the horse, so I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a Happy and Prosperous New Year: "Gung Hay Fat Choy," "Kung Hsi Fa Tsai," "Kung Ho Hsin Hsi," "Hsin Nien Kuai Le," "San Ni Fei Lo" and "Chuc Mung Nam Moi."
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
DEAR ABBY: Why is it that men can be so insensitive toward recent widows? Some of them hit on us within a month of the death of our loved one, while we're still in shock.
Who are these culprits? Co-workers whom I thought were good friends and my church council president, to name a few. Once, while I was having coffee in a restaurant with a friend, a male acquaintance stopped by our table and -- as calmly as ordering a hamburger -- told me his wife was in the hospital and he "needed some lovin'"!
Don't these clods have any idea how demeaning and vulgar their behavior is?
A longtime friend of mine just lost her husband. She didn't believe me when I told her about my experience. Abby, within a month, she had her own stories to tell! What's astonishing is that 90 percent of these men are married.
When my husband was alive, I had great respect for men. For that, I credit my husband, who was an honorable and loving family man. Now, however, I'm whistling a different tune. My beloved has been gone 10 years, and I'm much stronger than I was.
Please don't reveal my name or city; this is a small town, and the people I have mentioned would be recognized. Sign me ... NO MORE BLINDERS IN WISCONSIN
DEAR NO MORE BLINDERS: I'm sorry you won't allow me to reveal your name or location. The wives of these men would be very interested to know what their husbands are up to, and I'm sure it would result in some stimulating breakfast table conversation.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are young newlyweds. His job takes him out of town five days a week, so I'm pretty much a weekend wife only, and I hate it.
The real problem is his drinking. He didn't drink as much before we were married. Now I'm starting to believe he has a problem. When he drinks, he becomes rude and violent. Not toward me -- yet. He also gets into trouble during the week when he's away.
I want to stop this before it gets worse, but I don't know how to begin. -- A WEEKEND WIFE WHO NEEDS HELP FAST
DEAR WEEKEND WIFE: YOU can't stop your husband from drinking -- only he can make that decision. Unless he is willing to admit he has a problem and to do something about it, the situation will get worse.
What you CAN do is contact Al-Anon. It provides information and support to family and friends of alcoholics. Call 1-888-4-AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666). The Web site is www.al-anon.org.
DEAR ABBY: This is for the "shopping grandma," the "cooking grandma," and grandparents everywhere.
Let me tell you what I do -- I am a PLAYING grandma. I get down on the floor and play with my grandkids. I ask, "What do you want me to be?" Then I am the dog that barks, the tiny baby who cries, the mermaid who dives into the sea in search of treasures, or the prince cutting through the thicket with his huge sword to find Sleeping Beauty (stretched out on the sofa).
When my 5-year-old granddaughter was asked why she likes to play with her grandma, her answer was, "Because she makes the dolls talk." -- GRANDMA SHIRLEY IN METAIRIE, LA.
DEAR GRANDMA SHIRLEY: Your granddaughter is a lucky little girl. You are the grandparent every child deserves and dreams about.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)