DEAR ABBY: Throughout the year, my husband and I host parties in our home for his office staff. Invariably, we get several "maybes" in response to the RSVP on our invitations. To prepare for these parties, I must shop for food and beverages, spend time in the kitchen cooking, clean my home from top to bottom and arrange for a baby sitter.
"Maybe" is not a suitable answer! When an RSVP is requested, invitees should respond promptly, arrive on time, leave at a decent hour and follow up with a thank-you note -- or at least call their hosts.
Abby, are you with me on this, or am I expecting too much? The inconsideration of some people baffles me. -- TICKED OFF IN MICHIGAN
DEAR TICKED OFF: I'm with you. To respond to an invitation with "maybe" is extremely rude. It translates as, "I'll come if I have nothing better to do."
The next time you receive a "maybe" in response to an invitation, reply, "I'll take that as a 'no' -- unless I hear otherwise 48 hours before the event."
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "At the End of My Rope," whose 76-year-old grandmother ignores advice about her health.
First, I would recommend that she call Grandma's primary care physician to make sure he or she is aware of the family's concerns and of all her medications. Second, one of the children should go with her on the next medical visit to hear what the doctor has to say. (Having another set of ears at a doctor's visit is a real benefit.)
Third, is there a specialist in geriatrics in the area? Perhaps Grandma needs an evaluation to see if there is something else wrong or if the medicines are interacting in a negative way. Fourth, there are medication boxes available to help people manage their dosage. Fifth, all of her medications should be written down and posted on the refrigerator with the times they are to be taken.
Changing a person's eating habits may be difficult, but medicine is a different story. Many people go to a number of doctors and do not tell each doctor what they are taking. Drug interaction can be a real problem. Also, the grandchild should talk to a counselor to reduce her feelings of guilt. -- BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT IN ILLINOIS
DEAR BEEN THERE: Thank you for your informative letter. I'm sure it will be helpful to many readers who find themselves in similar circumstances.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 12-year-old girl with a big problem. There's a popular girl in my class who tells me that everything I like is evil, and that I shouldn't like this or that because when I die I will go to hell.
She thinks liking rock stars, reading fantasy books and watching "The Osbournes" on MTV is sinful.
She goes on and on about what the Bible says, and that the music, books and people I like are all evil. I respect what she likes, and I think she should respect what I like, too. What do you think, Abby? -- "PUT DOWN" IN OREGON
DEAR "PUT DOWN": I agree with you. You may be only 12, but there's wisdom between your ears.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600