DEAR ABBY: I am 23 and will be married next September. Usually the father of the bride walks her down the aisle, but I want my father's brother to be the one to do the honors.
When I mentioned it to my father's wife, she told me he'd be very upset if I asked my uncle and not him. However, there's a reason why I want to ask my uncle. Many years ago, he lost his wife and two little girls in a tragic accident. I feel that asking him to walk me down the aisle would make him feel that although his daughters are gone, he can still have that moment every father dreams of when he brings a daughter into this world.
I view it this way: My father still has his daughter to see and talk to whenever he wants; my uncle doesn't. What do you think of my idea? I have many months to plan this, and I want my father's help as well. -- UNDECIDED IN VERMONT
DEAR UNDECIDED: You have a heart of gold and are well-intentioned. However, as much as you might wish to, you cannot change history. Your father should walk you down the aisle. If you want your uncle to be a part of your wedding, please consider another role for him. Perhaps he could be part of the wedding party, or do a reading during the service. That way there will be no ill feelings on the part of anyone on this happy occasion.