Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
AIRPORT LINES MOVE FASTER ONCE YOU FOLLOW THE RULES
DEAR ABBY: I am a newly hired airport security screener with the Transportation Security Administration. Since many of your readers will travel by air this holiday season, I would like to encourage all of them to visit the TSA's Web site at: www.TSA.gov. This site provides a complete list of what passengers are NOT allowed to take on board in their carry-on luggage. It is important to know that many items that cannot be brought into the cabin ARE allowed in the cargo hold.
One of my favorite travel tips comes from frequent fliers. They have stopped using traditional shaving kits and cosmetic bags and instead put their toiletries in clear, resealable freezer bags. When searching a suitcase, the transparent baggies allow me to easily determine if someone has any prohibited items -- and it means I don't have to handle the traveler's possessions. One woman even packed her nylons and underwear in plastic bags. It enabled me to adequately "crush and feel" for security purposes without having to paw through her undergarments.
Thanks for getting the word out, Abby. Airline passengers can save themselves (and us) a lot of time by "packing smart." -- MARGARET MEYERS, MERION STATION, PA.
DEAR MARGARET: Excellent advice. The quicker and more efficiently travelers can pass through airport security, the safer we'll all be.
DEAR ABBY: Last December you ran a letter in your column from "Feeling Like the Grinch." The writer complained about an elderly neighbor coming over on Christmas morning as gifts were being opened. Let me tell you what happened to us.
When the first grandchild in our family was about 3, my brother reluctantly informed my husband and me that he and his wife wanted to keep Christmas morning "private," and we should discontinue the family tradition of being together at their home for Santa Claus, etc.
At the crack of dawn on Christmas morning, we received an S.O.S. phone call asking us to please forgive them and to get over there FAST! They said when their little boy woke up and walked into the living room, he plopped himself down on the sofa, crying, "Some Christmas -- nobody's HERE!"
Abby, from a child's perspective, sharing can be the whole enchilada. -- DOTING AUNT IN GEORGIA
DEAR DOTING AUNT: From the mouths of babes ... The spirit of Christmas is all about sharing. How nice that someone in that family understood it before it was too late.
DEAR ABBY: My father passed away recently. A few years back, my daughter gave both her grandparents a personal planning guide to record their individual wishes in making final arrangements. Dad listed exactly how he wanted to be dressed (including wearing his glasses), the hymns he would like sung, the people he had chosen as his pallbearers and the designated stipend for each. He also stated where he kept the deed to the cemetery lots, as well as other important documents we needed after his death.
Abby, it was a blessing to be able to give my father exactly what he wanted. I hope every person reading this will follow suit. It is by far the wisest way one can best serve his or her loved ones. -- CAROLYN SALVITTI, AUSTIN, TEXAS
DEAR CAROLYN: Your letter carries an important reminder. The only way to be sure your end-of-life wishes are carried out is to spell them out, orally and in writing. Your father was a wise man.
DEAR ABBY: What on earth has become of college education when professors and teachers write that they use dear Abby for English courses? I am horrified that an English as a Second Language (ESL) teacher uses your column to teach foreign students our customs. WHAT customs? Unresolved anger? Sibling rivalry? Mistrust of spouses? Broken homes? Drunk driving? Homosexuality? Sexual abuse? Internet pornography? It is insanity that this is what foreign students use to gauge American culture.
Abby, what about the monogamous marriage that has endured hardships? The couple still devoutly loyal and faithful to each other? Kids who still have the same mother and father and are contributing to society? What about the people who give 100 percent of themselves for community involvement with no thought to themselves? You have even said yourself that some people accuse you of making up the letters because they are so bizarre. Some are R-rated at best. And this is what teachers use to teach English? God forbid!
No wonder people in other countries think Americans are idiots. If they get all their information from Dear Abby, they may not be too far off the mark. You may print my name. -- MICHELLE CRIPPEN, HARPERS FERRY, W.VA.
DEAR MICHELLE: Ouch! I cannot agree with you that the people who write to me are idiots. The problems they write about are human relations problems -- and not necessarily unique to the U.S.A. Furthermore, they make interesting reading -- and that, I think, is what motivates the teachers to use my column. By the time people reach adulthood, "See Spot Run" and "The Adventures of Dick and Jane" no longer hold their interest. Face it, my column has it all -- drama, human interest, comedy, sex, drugs -- and solid information that many people relate to.
DEAR ABBY: I am 16 and dream of becoming a voice for a Disney animated film. This is not some silly phase, Abby. I really want to do this. The only problem is, I have no clue how to get the attention of Disney. I have had little theatrical experience, and my school's drama program isn't the best. I have a good singing voice but have had no lessons.
I need your advice on what to do here. I have sent letters to Disney, but no response has ever come. Any suggestions you might offer would be great. Thanks. -- DISNEY DREAMER IN CONCORD, CALIF.
DEAR DREAMER: You're welcome. I checked with my friend, Tress MacNeille, who does voice-overs for "The Simpsons" and is the classic voice of Daisy Duck and Chip 'n Dale. She asked me to tell you that "longevity in a show business career can be measured by the amount of time spent PREPARING for it."
Do not attempt to do this straight out of high school. Study drama and speech in college, and work to sharpen your improvisational skills. Take every acting class you can. Be a reader and an observer, so you can pick up nuances of language in the mold of Robin Williams and Nathan Lane. And most important of all, remember this is not a part-time effort. Keep your eye on your goal. Good luck.
DEAR ABBY: Is it rude to open a drawer or medicine cabinet in the bathroom of someone's home? -- SNOOPY IN PORTLAND, ORE.
DEAR SNOOPY: It certainly is, although many people do it anyway. It's also nosy -- and it's wrong. (But fascinating.)
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
Attempts at Holiday Conversion Leave Woman With Little Joy
DEAR ABBY: I am a Hindu woman living in the Bible Belt. Many of my friends and acquaintances are Christian, and they are all wonderful -- except for one thing. Some try in small, subtle ways to convert me to their faith.
With Christmas approaching, I know what's coming -- boxes of baked goodies with little brochures and pamphlets tucked inside all about Jesus and the Christian faith. I wish you would remind people that all of us in this diverse nation should respect the faiths of others. To try to convert someone to your faith implies that you consider your religious beliefs superior, and that is just plain wrong.
I know these gestures are well meant, but I wouldn't dream of sending Hindu brochures with my holiday goodies. Abby, what is a tactful, but firm, way of dealing with this? -- HAPPY HINDU IN THE BIBLE BELT
DEAR HAPPY HINDU: Much as you would like, you are not going to change people who feel it's part of their religious commitment to "save" you. Ignore the brochures and enjoy the goodies -- unless you have lost your appetite. If that's the case, donate the treats to a homeless shelter or take them to the office.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old boy facing a heap of problems this year. I'm taking some very difficult college-level classes. I don't have a great grade point average, but I manage to stay around 3.3.
I don't plan on applying to an Ivy League school, but Mom thinks I won't get accepted anywhere without at least a 3.5 GPA. She won't let me get a part-time job until I raise my GPA to 3.5 -- which means I am totally dependent on her for spending money.
Mom complains that I'm not putting in enough time on my schoolwork and that she spends too much money on me. I'd be glad to cover my expenses if she'd let me get a part-time job.
It may sound like it would be too hard to improve my GPA, but I'm working at it and I'm proud of my grades. I just don't know what to do about my mom. -- TROUBLED IN MISSOURI
DEAR TROUBLED: If there is a counselor at your school, ask him or her to speak to your mother about your grades as well as your prospects. Your mother is trying to be a conscientious parent and to see to it that you have a successful future. However, if you are working at your capacity, a compromise is in order.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Ken," and I have been together four years. We plan to become engaged during the holidays. Kenny is my heart and soul, and he feels the same about me.
I have one small problem. There is a guy at work I find very attractive. There's something about him that makes my mind wander "off-track." Is it only lust? I cannot imagine cheating on Kenny -- and I never would.
Is this attraction normal? Or does it mean I'm doubting my love for Kenny? -- NEEDS TO KNOW ASAP IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: It's normal. That's why the wedding vows read "forsaking all others." There is nothing wrong with being attracted to more than one person as long as you don't act on it. If this continues to trouble you, a couple of sessions with a counselor will help you to put things in perspective.
CONFIDENTIAL TO DONE WRONG IN WICHITA: Take the high road. Do nothing impulsive. Remember the words of Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626): "By taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing over it, he is superior."
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)