DEAR ABBY: My father passed away recently. A few years back, my daughter gave both her grandparents a personal planning guide to record their individual wishes in making final arrangements. Dad listed exactly how he wanted to be dressed (including wearing his glasses), the hymns he would like sung, the people he had chosen as his pallbearers and the designated stipend for each. He also stated where he kept the deed to the cemetery lots, as well as other important documents we needed after his death.
Abby, it was a blessing to be able to give my father exactly what he wanted. I hope every person reading this will follow suit. It is by far the wisest way one can best serve his or her loved ones. -- CAROLYN SALVITTI, AUSTIN, TEXAS
DEAR CAROLYN: Your letter carries an important reminder. The only way to be sure your end-of-life wishes are carried out is to spell them out, orally and in writing. Your father was a wise man.