DEAR ABBY: A friend (I'll call her Tanisha) asked me to be matron of honor at her wedding. The event was supposed to take place next month. Even though the thought of flying to a wedding in the middle of winter was not appealing, I did agree to it.
Due to personal circumstances, Tanisha pushed back the date of her wedding to next June. When she notified me, I told her I could not commit to being there. I am expecting a baby in April and don't want to travel so far with an infant. Tanisha has also changed the location of her wedding, so flying is no longer the best option, and the only way to get there is a two-day drive.
She said she understood, but still talks about the wedding as if I'm an integral part of it. For example, she recently informed me she'll be sending me swatches so that I can buy my dress. How do I explain to Tanisha that I cannot be in her wedding? She is a somewhat volatile person, and I'm afraid she'll be very upset and hurt. -- STUCK IN ST. LOUIS, MO.
DEAR STUCK: Your reasons for bowing out make good sense to me, and beating around the bush because you're afraid she'll throw a tantrum is not the best course of action. Tell Tanisha immediately, in plain English, that because you will be caring for an infant, you will be unable to be matron of honor. That way, she will be able to find a replacement ASAP.