DEAR ABBY: My son is going through separation and divorce. It is not a friendly one.
He is now serving in the military overseas. His wife and two children are here in the United States and live close to my husband and me. She allows us to see our grandkids whenever we want. However, since the divorce, she's fallen on hard times -- economically and emotionally -- and it kills us to know she is suffering the consequences of her decision to break up the marriage.
The issue, Abby, is loyalty to our son. He is very upset by what she did, bringing the children back to the states and destroying his military career. He is bitter and adamant that our relationship with his ex-wife come to a halt. He says when he returns home, she is not welcome in our house. The children won't be an issue, as they have joint custody.
I love both my son and daughter-in-law. I feel terrible that our relationship with her must end. What would you do in our shoes? -- HURTING IN HUNTSVILLE, TEXAS
DEAR HURTING: I'd remind my son that his almost ex-wife is still the mother of your grandchildren, and that whom you invite into your home is your decision, not his. This is not his choice to make. For the sake of the children, do not burn any bridges.