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by Abigail Van Buren

Old Friendship Loses Focus When Life Is Picture Perfect

DEAR ABBY: I haven't spoken to my friend, "Millie," in three months.

The history of our 20-year friendship is that when things are going good for Millie -- a promising new relationship, a serious boyfriend, a new husband, etc. -- she cuts me out of her life. (Millie says none of her men have cared for my company.) However, when things go wrong -- a fight with a boyfriend, a broken engagement, a divorce, etc. -- suddenly I am in the picture full time.

Abby, my husband and I truly care for Millie, but I've about had it. I have tried talking to her about her behavior, but she always says nothing is wrong.

Should I chuck this long-standing friendship? -- MAD AT MILLIE IN INDIANA

DEAR MAD: No, but recognize that you have become Millie's "foul weather friend." Be pleasant to her, but no longer allow yourself to get caught up in her psychodramas -- and for heaven's sake, don't depend on her for anything.