CONFIDENTIAL TO ALL MY JEWISH READERS: HAPPY HANUKKAH!
Thoughtful Gifts for Seniors Are More Practical Than Pretty
DEAR ABBY: Since Friday after Thanksgiving is the day that Christmas shopping traditionally begins in earnest, would you please reprint as soon as possible your list of thoughtful gifts for seniors -- especially those living on fixed incomes? I'm sure it would be much appreciated. -- ANNE N. IN MINNEAPOLIS
DEAR ANNE: Absolutely! I am pleased to do so.
It seems no sooner are the dishes put away from Thanksgiving dinner than it's time to start holiday shopping. And that means it's time to publish my list of gift ideas for senior citizens.
Readers, if you plan on sending holiday gifts, first let me tell you what NOT to send. Forget the cologne, aftershave and dusting powders unless you have first checked to see if they are welcome. Scents are highly distinctive (no pun intended) and not every perfume works on every person.
Never give a pet to anyone unless you are absolutely certain the person wants one and is able to properly care for it.
Do not give wine or liquor to people unless you're sure they imbibe.
Candy, nuts, confections and fruitcakes make beautiful gifts for folks who aren't counting calories, but have compassion for those who are, and don't lead them into temptation.
With the price of groceries going through the roof, many people on fixed incomes would appreciate a gift basket of goodies. How about small cans of tuna and chicken? Also include crackers, assorted flavored instant coffees, herbal teas, soup mixes and cookies.
Gift certificates are always welcome: for groceries, haircuts, manicures, dry cleaning, restaurant meals, theater tickets, videos and department stores. And don't forget prepaid long-distance calling cards.
Not all seniors drive, so bus passes and coupons for senior transportation or taxis are always welcome.
Large-print calendars with family birthdays, anniversaries, etc., marked and personalized with family photos, make useful gifts, as do large-print address books with information transferred from the recipient's records.
Payment of utilities for a month or two can be sent directly to the utility -- then let the recipients know they have "extra" money to spend as they wish.
A cordless phone or answering machine is a handy gift.
Membership in a gym if the person wants to exercise.
A magnifying glass.
A cuddly robe and slippers with non-skid soles.
Sweatpants, sweatshirts and jogging shoes.
For someone who has a pet, send it a treat -- a can of dog or cat food or a rawhide chewstick or catnip toy.
A subscription to a magazine or newspaper you know the person will enjoy is a thoughtful gift.
Because medications are expensive, a gift certificate to the neighborhood pharmacy would be much appreciated. (Trust me.)
Stationery and stamps come in handy year-round. If you send them, be sure to include felt-tipped pens, too.
Loneliness is the ultimate poverty. Holidays can be depressing for people who are alone. So if you know someone who could use an outing, give him or her the best gift of all -- an invitation to have a meal with you and your family.
If you ain't givin', you ain't livin'!
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
DEAR READERS: Since today is Thanksgiving, what better time to pause for a moment and reflect upon all of the blessings for which to be thankful? As part of the celebration, I'm repeating the traditional Thanksgiving column, first written by my mother.
How's your health? Not so good? Well, thank God you've lived this long. A lot of people have not been so fortunate. You're hurting? Thousands -- maybe millions -- are hurting even more. (Have you ever volunteered at a nursing home? Homeless shelter? A rehabilitation clinic for adults or children?)
If you awakened this morning able to hear the birds sing, use your vocal cords to speak, walk to the breakfast table on two good legs, and read the newspaper with two good eyes -- praise the Lord! A lot of people couldn't.
How's your pocketbook? Thin? Well, most of the world is a lot poorer. In fact, one-third of the people in the world will go to bed hungry tonight.
Are you lonely? Then remember the way to have a friend is to be one. If nobody calls you, pick up the phone and call someone.
Are you concerned about our country's future? Hooray! Our political system has been saved by such concern. In this great country of ours, you can worship at the church of your choice, cast a secret ballot, and you can even criticize your government without fearing a knock on the head or a knock on the door at midnight. And if you want to live under a different political system, you are free to go. There are no walls or fences -- nothing to keep you here.
A final thought: Want an instant high? The surest way to beat the holiday blues is to do something nice for someone else. Why not call a person who lives alone and invite him or her to dinner?
Better yet, call and say, "I'm coming to get you, and I'll see that you get home." (Some older people don't drive, and those who do may not like to be behind the wheel after dark.)
Try it. And please let me know the results.
And now, I'll repeat the Thanksgiving Prayer that was penned by my mother years ago. My Thanksgiving would not be complete without it:
Oh, heavenly Father,
We thank thee for food and remember the hungry.
We thank thee for health and remember the sick.
We thank thee for friends and remember the friendless.
We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.
May these remembrances stir us to service,
That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen. -- LOVE, ABBY
P.S. We have much to be grateful for on this Thanksgiving Day. For those of you with a little time to spare -- how about showing our gratitude to veterans by visiting a veterans hospital and raising the spirits of those who have served our country in years past?
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Man Explores Military Service as One Way to Get Education
DEAR ABBY: I am a 25-year-old single man with a good career, even though I never finished college. I have no children and own my own home.
From time to time I have considered joining the military, and I am close to making a decision.
The service could provide me with technical skills, plus I could finish my education without having to take out a hefty loan. Overall, the experience sounds appealing. However, the truth is, I'm scared about what's going on in the world. Even so, I'd still be willing to serve.
My family and friends hate the idea. They think I've lost my mind, and say it's the worst thing I could do with my life right now. I am really stuck. The recruiter is pressuring me to decide "now or never," and my family and friends say I'll be making a mistake that could kill me or make me miserable for the next four years.
Please help me to decide, Abby. My mother always said you spoke the truth and gave good advice. -- NOT IN BOOT CAMP YET
DEAR NOT IN BOOT CAMP YET: There are no easy answers to your question. This isn't something anyone else can answer for you. Yes, there ARE risks. There are also rewards. I urge you to investigate thoroughly before you sign anything and do not allow yourself to be pressured.
DEAR ABBY: I think I am being discriminated against at my school because I'm 16, a sophomore, unmarried and pregnant.
Because of my pregnancy, I'm getting into trouble because I'm missing school days to go to my doctor's appointments. The teachers think I won't be able to participate in school once my baby is born. I've already told them I'm not dropping out, nor am I marrying the father yet. But they can't seem to get it through their heads.
The teachers are sending letters to my mother telling her how many days I've missed. I've only been absent five this semester. I'm tired of it. My mom's tired of it. And so is my boyfriend. I'm scared to go to school because I'm afraid they are going to say something negative to me and I'm going to get angry and say something I'll regret -- and they'll kick me out. Please help. -- D.B. IN OHIO
DEAR D.B.: It's going to take a joint effort on the part of you and your mother. Demonstrate that you CAN keep up with your schoolwork and maintain an acceptable grade point average during your pregnancy. Schedule doctor's appointments after school hours whenever possible.
Your mother must make clear to the faculty and administration that she expects them to give you the education to which you are entitled. She might also investigate the possibility of special programs for pregnant students, which are available in many school districts.
DEAR ABBY: Last summer, my boyfriend and I attended the out-of-town wedding of a good friend. When I danced with the groom, he began running his hands all over me! I was shocked and tried to pull away. My boyfriend saw everything.
Since my return home, the groom has been sending me inappropriate e-mails. I keep e-mailing him back telling him to stop or I will tell his bride. I do not want to lose her friendship, but she should know what he is doing. What would you do? -- FELT UP IN PHILLY
DEAR FELT: Since he has not heeded your warning, forward the e-mails -- all of them -- to his wife.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)