DEAR ABBY: I am the father of a 7-year-old son, "Taylor." His mother, "Gwen," and I had a long-term relationship, but when she became pregnant, neither of us wanted to marry. In our hearts we knew it wouldn't work and we didn't want to subject our son to a broken marriage.
Both Gwen and I have taken our roles as parents seriously. Since his birth, I have supported Taylor financially. Taylor has spent nearly every weekend at my home or my parents' since he was 3. I also spend time with my son during the week -- going to the park, to the movies, etc.
I recently became engaged to a woman I'll call Stacey. We want to be married next year and are planning a large wedding. I had hoped to have Taylor serve as our ring bearer. Stacey's niece will be our flower girl.
At first, my son's mother was agreeable to the idea, but now she's against it. Gwen refuses to give me a concrete reason, other than she "doesn't think it's a good idea." She said our son can attend the wedding accompanied by his baby sitter but cannot be a member of the wedding party.
I am angry about this. Stacey says I should calm down and accept the situation. I'm looking to you, Abby. What do you think? -- TAYLOR'S FATHER IN NEW YORK
DEAR TAYLOR'S FATHER: Listen to your fiancee. She's a wise woman. There is nothing to be gained by starting World War III. It appears that your son's mother resents the fact you are committing your life to another woman. Refusing to allow your young son to be in the wedding is her only way of asserting some control in a situation she cannnot otherwise control.
Although Taylor cannot be your ring bearer, make sure he wears a boutonniere and is present in some of the wedding pictures. It will make him feel a part of the celebration -- and that's what's important.