DEAR ABBY: My brother has been seeing this girl for less than a year, but we seem to have become friends. Recently her grandfather passed away. They were not close. My brother called and told me the news matter-of-factly.
I have a strong aversion to funerals and go only if I "have to." I know this sounds cold, but my aversion is strong. Everyone knows this about me.
My brother called me a couple of days after the funeral, yelling at me because I didn't attend. I was waiting to call his girlfriend until after everything settled, because I know how crazy it is when someone in your immediate family passes away.
Could you please explain the proper etiquette in a situation like this? Was I completely wrong in not going? -- K.D. IN CREST HILL, ILL.
DEAR K.D.: Your mistake wasn't in skipping the funeral. It was in not immediately reaching out and offering sympathy to your brother's girlfriend for her loss. Since "everyone" knows you have an aversion to funerals, your brother should not have yelled at you. However, I can understand his being upset that you didn't call, didn't send a card or flowers, or in any other way acknowledge the fact that his girlfriend -- and your new friend -- had lost a loved one. It would have been the proper and considerate thing to do.