DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law, Lois, was a loving person, especially to children. At any family gathering, Lois could be found in a corner with the kids, reading stories, playing games or just talking with them. When she died, it was hard on all of us. We tried to protect the kids by not crying in front of them. Sometimes I'd have to run to the bathroom to hide my tears.
One night I woke to hear my oldest son, who was 7 years old, sobbing his heart out. After calming him, I asked what was wrong. He replied, "Mommy, how come nobody cried when Aunt Lois died?"
Sometime later, my daughters, 4 and 5, ended a conversation in their bedroom and came into the kitchen. They told me they figured out why God had let Aunt Lois die: God needed someone in heaven to take care of the babies until they were born.
I learned some important lessons that year -- from my children. -- PATRICIA IN OCEANSIDE, CALIF.
DEAR PATRICIA: From the mouths of babes ... Children sometimes exhibit a level of emotional honesty and genuineness from which adults can learn. It is important for children to understand that adults have honest emotions and that showing sadness is not inappropriate. Failing to express these kinds of feelings can cause problems in later life. Books have been written on childhood grieving and are available in bookstores and in local libraries.
Thank you for sharing the important lesson you learned from your children.