DEAR ABBY: I was married a few months ago. My sister and one of my bridesmaids "got into it" inside the limousine on the way to the chapel. My sister said my friend was rude. I became upset because I felt they could have waited until after the reception to air their differences. I felt my sister was selfish.
At the end of the reception, my mom and I got into a huge argument. Mom was drunk and cursing at the guests. One guest came up to me and complained about her. When I confronted my mother, she said I was a liar and some other hurtful things. Then Mom wanted to make some nasty comments on the microphone. When her girlfriend and I tried to stop her, her friend and Mom fell on the floor.
Mom refuses to acknowledge that she has a drinking problem, so I decided to stay away from both her and my sister. I haven't spoken to either one since the wedding. Am I wrong? -- "D" IN FARMINGDALE, N.Y.
DEAR "D": You are not wrong; you are protecting yourself. You will never be able to have the relationship you want with your mother until she faces the fact she's an alcoholic and confronts her problem. As for your sister and your bridesmaid, I don't know who is to blame for the argument in the limo, but they both owe you an apology.
DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Mel," and I are in our 70s. We have been married 14 years. It's the second marriage for both of us.
Mel has a 30-year-old daughter who is married and the mother of two children. She and her husband and children live out of state.
Abby, the daughter calls my husband at least twice a day, any time she feels the urge to talk to him. I find it very annoying that a girl her age needs to talk to her "daddy" so often. She asks him for advice and constantly tells him she loves him. Of course, Mel loves the attention she lavishes on him -- but I am upset and a little jealous.
Is her behavior normal, and if so, how do I handle this infuriating situation? -- FRUSTRATED IN FLORIDA
DEAR FRUSTRATED: You "handle it" by learning to accept it. For whatever reason, your husband's daughter is a "Daddy's girl" -- she needs his approval and support, and it isn't likely to change. You are not rivals for his affection unless you make it so. Think of it this way: You and she have something important in common. You both love her father in different ways, just as he loves both of you.
DEAR ABBY: I work in a busy office where I meet and interview clients. Last week, while meeting with a couple -- who were prospective clients -- the man began admiring my display of family photographs. To my surprise, he picked up the portrait of my husband, showed it to his wife, and said, "Look, there's Michael, Kathy's boyfriend!" (Kathy is the man's sister.)
Abby, he knew my husband's name, the name of my husband's best friend and where he lives. When I asked Michael about it, he said he didn't know any girl named Kathy. I want to believe Michael, but I cannot understand why a couple would go to such great lengths to be as cruel as they were to me. Michael and I have no known enemies and have had a very committed marriage for 13 years. What do you make of this? -- PUZZLED IN FLORIDA
DEAR PUZZLED: What happened had to be a terrible shock. My first reaction is that you are in denial. The couple you were interviewing knew too many precise details to be faking. It's time you look further and do some fact-checking.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
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