DEAR ABBY: Thirty-four years ago, when I was 16, I became pregnant. My parents sent me to a home for unwed mothers where I placed my baby for adoption upon birth.
Two years ago, my birth daughter located me. I agreed to meet her and her family. She had been adopted by a loving and devoted couple. Unfortunately, both parents have recently passed away. The young woman has now decided that I should take on the role of mother to her. She has made it clear that she thinks that I "owe it to her."
Abby, this person is a stranger to me. I do not have a mother/daughter bond with her, and quite honestly, I have no desire to create one. I have my own family and do not want my life turned upside down. I am willing to be her friend or acquaintance, but NOT her mother.
I wish I had never agreed to meet her or to let her know my identity. Why can't she just accept that I will never be a mother to her and leave me alone? -- BIRTH STRANGER
DEAR BIRTH STRANGER: The young woman is clinging to you because the parents who raised her are dead and she thinks you're all she has. She is an adult. Tell her the truth. You gave her life, and besides friendship, that's all you're able to give her.