DEAR ABBY: As regular readers of your column know, more and more often the bereaved are giving themselves permission to break away from formalized funeral rituals and creating final memorials that are in keeping with the expressed wishes of their deceased loved ones.
As president-elect of an association dedicated to affordable alternatives to conventional funerals, I urge your readers to:
(1) Take time now to preplan and discuss with family their wishes for this final event.
(2) When that time arrives, exercise your rights to create a memorial that is in keeping with the close family's expressed desires.
(3) Do not be intimidated by those who insist that you are doing the loved one a disservice by not having a conventional funeral.
Thank you for helping us to shed some light on this issue, Abby. -- TOM SIMONSON, CREMATION ASSOCIATION OF NORTH AMERICA
DEAR TOM: I'm pleased to post your gentle reminder for any reader who needs encouragement. Talking about the inevitable isn't easy; sometimes it's difficult to get people who love us to listen to such an unpleasant subject.
However, the most practical way around those defenses is to make clear, well before the need arises, that you want your family to keep as many of your assets as possible.
A funeral procession that rivals the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace may be a great spectacle, but it's a little late for the star of the show. The time to show respect and affection to those we love is while they are living.