DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for three years and have a 10-year-old daughter, "Candace," who lives with me. My ex-husband, "Chet," and I are friendly. I have a full-time job, work part time on the weekends, and go to school two nights a week. I'll get my B.S. degree next July.
Chet has offered to keep Candace on nights when I go to school. I have always been very flexible about the time she spends with her father. Mother thinks I am giving Candace the wrong message. I have talked with my daughter, and she knows her daddy and I will not be getting back together. We are only friends. Mother says I need to prove to Candace that we are not reconciling. She says Chet shouldn't be with my daughter in my home on the nights I go to school or even on weekends when I am working.
Mother says I have depended upon others my whole life. That's a big joke. I have been on my own since I was 17. Mother thinks I need to start depending upon myself more. What do you think? -- CONFUSED MOM IN THE SOUTH
DEAR CONFUSED MOM: I wish all divorces were as amicable as yours. It seems you're doing everything right. I can only conclude that your mother does not want your daughter to have a healthy relationship with her father. That said, maybe it's time to discount what your mother thinks. You're a big girl now, and the important thing is what YOU believe.