DEAR ABBY: My boss, "Adam," is 43. I am 50. We are both divorced. We have become very close during the three years we have worked together. I have two adult children. He has none.
Adam and I spend a great deal of time together -- at work and socially -- but always on a platonic basis. The problem is, I have fallen in love with him. I realize that an on-the-job romance -- especially between a boss and a subordinate -- would be a big mistake. However, I know he cares a great deal for me, although he does not share my romantic feelings.
Abby, I am having a hard time hiding my emotions when he dates other women. It impacts my work performance. I feel it would be best for me to look for another job. He told me that if I were a true friend I would want him to be happy and to marry someone who could be the mother of his children. I do want Adam to be happy, and I love my job, but I have deep feelings for him. He thinks it is selfish of me to want to leave. Do you? -- IT'S TOUGH TO BE IN LOVE BY MYSELF
DEAR IT'S TOUGH: I do not think your desire to leave is selfish. Quite the contrary. It's selfish of him to try to make you feel guilty for wanting to leave. You'd have to be a masochist to stay.