DEAR ABBY: The letter from "No Name, No Address, No Phone," the 15-year-old living in an abusive home with her dad and stepmother, hit me hard. I could have written that same letter verbatim 20 years ago when I was 15.
My mother, too, gave my father custody of my younger brother and sister and me. Our dad had also remarried. We lived with him and our stepmother. She was fixated on our behavior with regard to household chores, meals and neatness.
Unfortunately, our father thought we were lying when we described the beatings, severe punishments and emotional abuse that increased over the years -- usually when he was absent. Our stepmother was a "yeller." Dad always took her directions and advice. We kids were too scared out of our wits to talk in detail to our natural mother or other relatives, who suspected what was going on but never took action.
It has taken years of therapy to recover from what happened to us. I had to forgive myself for being unable to protect my brother and sister, but I finally became the "fighter" in the house on a long crusade to get my father to wake up. At last he did -- but not until serious damage had been done.
Please urge "No Name" to start talking and KEEP TALKING until someone listens! Her mother and grandmother also have a responsibility to step in without hesitation. They must be asked to act on behalf of her, her brother and sister. She should be specific about what is going on at home, even if she's scared to "tell." She was very brave to write that letter, and that's exactly the kind of courage it takes to get through stuff like this. -- ONCE A "NO-NAME" TOO
DEAR ONCE A NO-NAME: Well said.