DEAR ABBY: For the past year, I have been seeing a 35-year-old widow and mother of three small children. About every five weeks and every holiday, her 24-year-old brother-in-law, "Mark," will call her and spend the night with her and the kids. If we have plans, they are canceled to accommodate Mark. Also, when Mark is visiting, I am told that it would be "inappropriate" for me to be there or call her.
After a year of this, I finally told my girlfriend I was uncomfortable with this arrangement, and if Mark wants to see her and the kids, that's fine -- but he should go home at night. My girlfriend became irate.
The next day at a family gathering, she asked, almost begged, Mark to stay the night with her and the kids. She did it three times in front of me. The last time was as Mark was leaving. She then turned to me and told me to leave. She said that Mark is family and welcome to stay with her any time. (I thought I was family, too.)
What do you think? If there is to be a future in this relationship, we need your opinion. -- THREE'S A CROWD IN WISCONSIN
DEAR THREE'S A CROWD: If the relationship with her brother-in-law was strictly platonic, she wouldn't insist that you be absent and not call when he is visiting. Wise up and move on. She has made her choice -- and you're not it.