DEAR ABBY: "Tired of Family Ties," the 33-year-old man who was adopted at the age of 3 weeks and never felt the need to search for his birth mother, asked how to discontinue contact without being cruel now that she has found him.
You advised that he has a right to his feelings, and he should explain to his birth mother that he's not ready to have a relationship with her now. I would like to second that advice.
Please urge "Tired" to have an honest discussion with his birth family. I am a birth mother. I have seen changes in my relationship with my daughter whom I lost to adoption. We were reunited 14 years ago. I wish she would verbalize it.
Thankfully, I have been involved in a wonderful support group for 17 years. It is called "Concerned United Birthparents," and it is for anyone who has been touched by adoption. -- DENVER BIRTH MOM
DEAR BIRTH MOM: Thank you for the information. Concerned United Birthparents can be contacted by calling toll-free: 1-800-822-2777 or by visiting the Web site at www.CUBirthparents.org. While many reunions are happy ones, some are not. In those cases, everyone involved needs all the support they can get.