DEAR ABBY: I am writing on behalf of my sister, "Hazel," who is too embarrassed to write. She's pregnant with her first child. Her two best friends are giving her a baby shower. Hazel registered for gifts at a national store that provides stickers that say, "Registered at ( )," to be put on the invitation envelopes. Hazel didn't take them because she thinks the practice is tacky. Her friends asked her for the stickers, and she told them she didn't want to use them. She felt that when her guests called to RSVP, they could be told where she's registered.
Well, her friends went to the store, got stickers, and put them on her invitation envelopes anyway. Hazel is very upset. She wants the hosts to tell the guests they used the stickers against her wishes. These "friends" think she is being hormonal and overly sensitive, and insist that this is proper etiquette.
We're all looking to you, Abby. Do you think putting the stickers on the envelopes was a breach of etiquette? -- STUCK IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR STUCK: Ignoring the expressed wishes of the honoree was an even worse breach of etiquette than placing the stickers on the envelopes. It showed a complete lack of respect for Hazel's feelings.
I wouldn't blame Hazel if she spoke up at the shower and apologized to her guests for the stickers. While some guests may not have found them offensive, some will -- and your sister should set the record straight.
DEAR ABBY: I am almost 15. A few days ago, something happened that made me see what a spoiled, selfish, vain brat I have become.
My mother was giving me a ride to my boyfriend's house. She and I were laughing and joking. As we turned to go down a hill, I saw an overweight man, who appeared to be in his early 40s, riding his bicycle up the steep hill. The bike was practically stationary. However, instead of getting off and walking, he just kept pedaling.
I took one look, pointed my finger at him and laughed. Hard. He turned and looked right at me. I will never forget the look of determination on that man's face.
My heart sank into my stomach. I knew what I had done was cruel.
I still feel terrible for what I did. I give up on a lot of things, but this determined man did not. He changed my life forever. I'm determined never again to stereotype anyone. I would like to find this man and apologize. He is not a quitter. He is the kind of person other people should strive to become. -- SORRY TEEN IN PORT EWEN, N.Y.
DEAR SORRY TEEN: You're absolutely right. People who persevere in the face of adversity are to be admired and emulated because they usually achieve their goal.
You have a lot to thank that man for, because what you observed about him -- and yourself -- has helped you to take a giant step toward maturity.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
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