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by Abigail Van Buren

Shower Invitations Create Sticky Problem for Honoree

DEAR ABBY: I am writing on behalf of my sister, "Hazel," who is too embarrassed to write. She's pregnant with her first child. Her two best friends are giving her a baby shower. Hazel registered for gifts at a national store that provides stickers that say, "Registered at ( )," to be put on the invitation envelopes. Hazel didn't take them because she thinks the practice is tacky. Her friends asked her for the stickers, and she told them she didn't want to use them. She felt that when her guests called to RSVP, they could be told where she's registered.

Well, her friends went to the store, got stickers, and put them on her invitation envelopes anyway. Hazel is very upset. She wants the hosts to tell the guests they used the stickers against her wishes. These "friends" think she is being hormonal and overly sensitive, and insist that this is proper etiquette.

We're all looking to you, Abby. Do you think putting the stickers on the envelopes was a breach of etiquette? -- STUCK IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR STUCK: Ignoring the expressed wishes of the honoree was an even worse breach of etiquette than placing the stickers on the envelopes. It showed a complete lack of respect for Hazel's feelings.

I wouldn't blame Hazel if she spoke up at the shower and apologized to her guests for the stickers. While some guests may not have found them offensive, some will -- and your sister should set the record straight.