DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, I met and fell desperately in love with a cowboy named "Slim." I believed everything he told me -- that he had married only once and was divorced, that he had only one son. Lies, all lies. Slim was still married when he married me. He stole money and property from me, then took off to be with a woman in another state.
Abby, I adored Slim and was very good to him. I supported him, believing that he couldn't work because he was on disability. We never had sex because he told me he had a bad heart and couldn't perform, plus he had personal injuries from being gored by a bull in a rodeo. I bought him everything he needed and wanted -- clothes, medicine, you name it.
I took my retirement money and set Slim up in a flea-market business, but he took everything and ran off with another woman -- not once, but twice. I guess I wasn't thinking straight because I believed him the second time, only to have him rob me again and leave.
Now he's calling and saying he will do anything to make it work again, but he's still in another state with that woman.
What can I do to get him out of my life and to stop loving him? -- NAIVE NELLIE IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR NELLIE: Recognize that sometimes what we want is not good for us. This can apply to chocolate, alcohol and cowboys named Slim. Distance yourself and stop accepting his phone calls. Also, report him to the police. He is a bigamist and a con artist.
DEAR ABBY: I started smoking marijuana eight years ago. I consider myself a "social smoker." I quit for three years, then went back to using it. I can go for months without it, but always return to getting stoned again. I keep telling myself I have to stop.
If I continue using grass, I know I will never hold a good job, because I would test positive if the company has random drug testing. I want to quit. Is going to rehab the only way? Or are there other alternatives? Please help me. -- ALL "SMOKED" OUT
DEAR ALL "SMOKED" OUT: I admire the fact you recognize you have a problem that must be dealt with. Since you haven't been able to break the habit on your own, rehab and drug counseling are indicated to end your psychological addiction. Good luck.
DEAR ABBY: I work in a large hospital. Signs are posted everywhere asking people not to use cellular phones inside the facility. Believe it or not, some people ignore the request and use their cell phones anyway. The fact is, cell phones interfere with monitoring equipment in the emergency room, operating rooms, critical and intensive care units, neonatal units, etc.
Abby, please urge your readers to either use a pay phone for their calls, or step outside the hospital to use their cell phone. -- CONCERNED HEALTH CARE WORKER IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CONCERNED: The activity you have described could be life-threatening. If I were a hospital employee who witnessed such a flagrant disregard for the rules, I would notify security and have the person escorted outside.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
Abby shares her favorite recipes in a two-booklet set. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $7.90 per set ($9 per set in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
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