DEAR ABBY: Here's another nervy "Can you top this?" letter: A well-to-do friend of mine insisted on giving me a retirement party, even though I protested.
The gathering was held at a small local yacht club. When my husband arrived with his camera, the hostess told him to be sure to snap a picture when she presented me with the money tree. Champagne was served. Everyone had a lovely time.
On the way home, I remembered that my friend had not presented me with the money tree. When I wrote her a nice thank-you, I ended by asking what happened to it.
Three weeks later on a piece of business correspondence, she added a line on the bottom that said, "The party cost more than anticipated, so the money tree was used to cover expenses." Needless to say, I am no longer in contact with my "tacky" friend. -- CARLSBAD, CALIF., RETIREE
DEAR CARLSBAD: Your letter is a first. Congratulations! I'm speechless.