DEAR ABBY: My father-in-law passed away a few months ago. He and my mother-in-law would have celebrated their 50th anniversary next month. My husband and I are not sure what to do. Do we send a card? Do we send a gift -- or should we just ignore it?
Thank you for any suggestions. -- L.D. IN LAKE WACCAMAW, N.C.
DEAR L.D.: Do not ignore your mother-in-law on the day that would have been her 50th anniversary. Send a thinking-of-you card and tell her you know this will be a sad day for her, but you want her to know you remember and are thinking of her with love.
Widows have often expressed the pain of being ignored on an anniversary following the death of a spouse. When no one mentions the special day, it's as though the marriage never happened. Although the spouse is not there to celebrate, it's still the widow/widower's anniversary of a very important day.
If you live near your mother-in-law, call her early in the day and invite her to dinner to talk about the happy times in her marriage. She'll appreciate it. Trust me.